reflections

call it middle age, or just the stresses of the news(oil spills,joblessness) or at home, with business a little too quiet, or friends getting ill,hurt. i lately find myself sad, wondering how i spent so much of my child hood not waiting till i was a grown up, and now at times i feel old and appalled that my life is (if god blesses me with a full life) half over.sometimes i long to be a child again listening more than i did to the wisdoms of my dad, or the young mother with my arm load of babies(so far the most fullfilling time in my life),just wondering when did looking forward turn into looking back. God help me to just look to now and what is. but sometimes life is just scary.