momma bear's place

quieting the fat girl within,or confessions of a junkfood junkie

2011-11-19T15:07:00.000-08:00

after...before

I have been asked to blog about my recent weight loss success with the 17 Day Diet. This, in itself, is somewhat miraculous. I say this because less than a year ago I was trying to come to terms with the fact I was never going to be that petite girl of my youth again. I was trying to accept and like this larger version of myself. See, while most overweight people will say, “I have been overweight my whole life,” or ”I am a big girl with a skinny girl trying to get out,” I had been the skinny girl for most of my youth. This changed as I went through the ups and downs of life and living by the motto, “There is a food for every mood.” Slowly and surely I let the fat girl out. At 5 feet tall I was rocking (or not) the size 12/14 mom jeans, suffering with terrible acid reflux, and avoiding mirrors (not to mention bathing suit shopping). Suddenly the wildly social girl was avoiding seeing people who had not seen her in a while. I was afraid they would be shocked at my weight. Damn, I was unhappy. Yet, despite this, the old skinny girl from my youth could not accept that I could not eat the way I always had. I still had the palette of a 5 year old girl (Fruit Loops and Mallomars anyone?) now combined with a taste for the finer food and good drinks in life. This, combined with the metabolism of an almost 50 year old woman, well, let’s just say things were not going to end well.
[Image]While the denial was strong, I could not deny changing the vision in the mirror (when I did look) and so began the many millions of runs at some sort of weight loss success. First came the exercise videos…Kathy Smith, Richard Simmons, Slim in 6, Windsor Pilates, Tae Bo…all sitting, some still in packages, in VHS and DVD form. Then came the “join the gym years.” At any point in time I have been a member of every aerobic studio or gym in the county. I use the term “member” loosely because I am the queen of joining for the longest contract (it’s cheapest that way after all) and then NEVER going. I am pretty sure HealthQuest’s success in Hunterdon County is partly due to my three year “donation.” Let’s talk about the diets over the years. I tried Atkins (which as a health professional I had a hard time buying into the idea that eating all the bacon you wanted could be healthy), South Beach (Did I mention that I hate to cook and this diet requires more chopping and dicing then I ever wanted to do?), Weight Watchers (multiple attempts at this… I could wallpaper a room with the books.) I also “donated” to this company. I did this by joining, then sticking to it for a week, then being too embarrassed to face the woman at the weigh-in again and never returning. The theory that, “if I paid for something I would use it,” clearly did not work for me. My husband said with all the money I have spent over the years on these things, he could have sent me to one of those expensive “fat farms” (his words...he slept on the couch that night). The sad thing about this… he was right. While I have had some 5, even 10 lb. successes, I never made it anywhere near a goal. The fat girl in denial went back to her old ways (McDonald supersize anyone?). I began to think there was something wrong with me, that I could not even go a day sticking to a food plan. The bottom line: I was unhappy with my weight and the way it made me feel. My weight was something that bothered me each and every day. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life but if you asked me what could make me Nirvana happy?? Being the skinny girl again...well, that and a million dollars...but that’s another blog…. My weight unhappiness was bearing down on me. I avoided seeing people I had not seen in a while because I knew they would be shocked. Being a social butterfly, I hated that I felt this way, but I truly felt powerless to change it.So what changed? To be honest, I have no idea. While there was no epiphany and definitely no history of being successful in this arena, I think it might have been a perfect storm. This year there were two looming reunions: my 30th high school reunion and a large family reunion. This meant seeing relatives I had not seen in 20 years. This in itself normally would not be enough, as I even skipped my 20th class reunion because of my weight. This was my MO: avoidance.The second incentive was being a part of the Wellness Committee at Chapin. This put me in the center of a few people who really, really loved fitness and health. They talked about it with a glee that I wish I felt. I also felt a certain amount of shame that I was a health professional who knew what to do; I just could not implement it. However, the wellness committee began a series of exercise programs right here at work. No more excuses, I just can’t go home till I exercise. There were also Biggest Loser programs through this committee that I helped with by weighing in others. I discovered that that there was nothing wrong with me because a lot of women my age struggled with this same relationship with food.The final side to this perfect storm was my sister who also struggled with her weight and had lost 20 lbs. in a short period of time with a new diet. It was called the 17 Day Diet by Dr. Mike Moreno. I picked up a copy of the book, not feeling hopeful. However, this diet just clicked for me. These are the reasons I think it worked for me, where so many others had failed:It promised a 10 lb. weight loss in 17 days. I figured if I could get results quickly, I could do anything for 17 days.The foods looked healthy (unlike Atkins), chicken, veggies, fruit, AND I recognized them.The recipes were easy, five-ingredient deals, which appealed to the busy working mom who hates to cook.It consisted of four cycles of 17 days with each cycle adding more foods to keep me from getting bored.Facebook support. (Okay, besides being a junk food junkie, I also LOVE Facebook.) The group for the 17 Day Diet was full of success stories and real time answers to questions.However, the clincher for me was the maintenance: Cycle Four. It promised you would maintain your weight loss by eating on plan during the week and enjoy three meals “off” on the weekend. To me this was HUGE. Knowing I could eventually have “pizza night” back or go for a drink with the girls meant that unlike other diets, I would not have to give up some favorite treats forever or be so limited (One slice of pizza? Really? Who can do that?!) It would not be worth eating.So began my journey. The first 17 days are the hardest, as you come “off” sugar and get used to thinking about what you are going to eat. However, with this diet the results are almost immediate; within three days the sweet craving lessened and the scale was already down 2 lbs! This was very motivating to say the least. When I felt a weakening in my resolve, my mantra was, as is Dr. Moreno’s, “Just give it 17 days.” At the end of 17 days I had lost exactly what was promised! TEN POUNDS! More weight than I had ever lost, especially in that amount of time. Talk about motivation.On the second cycle the weight loss slowed to a more normal pace (1-2 lbs a week) but, hey, I was already ahead of the game! People already noticed I was losing, and I just felt better. I think another reason this continued to work for me is that by taking out the sugar and carbs from my diet, it did help to curb the craving for it. Now I could have some new foods.Cycle Three allowed some wine and some Skinny Cow ice cream. I mean, really, what more do you need? The crazy thing was that I suddenly liked fruit and yogurt.[Image]I lost a total of 28 lbs. on this diet and dropped from a size 12/14 to a size 6/8. Currently I have maintained the total of 28 lbs. lost, and that was through vacations over the summer (including a cruise) and all the meals involved at work with the start-up of school. I am basically doing maintenance from the diet, but I hope to soon go back to Cycle One and make a run at the final 7 lbs. I feel like the skinny girl has a second chance to quiet the fat girl. I hope forever this time. I do liken it to someone with addictions. I work every day to fight old habits and cravings, but I do feel I can succeed this time. It is true what they say, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” The skills I learned from the 17 Day Diet, Chapin’s Wellness Committee, and the positive feedback from co-workers and family gives me high hopes that will be enough to quiet the fat girl for good.

new favorite guilty pleasure

2011-02-20T19:32:00.001-08:00

check out my friends aish'sa jewlerly site.love her stuff

http://khancreations.blogspot.com/

wow where did the time go

2010-11-27T14:32:00.000-08:00

blizzards,irish pub tours, myrtle beach,chicago for the school nurse convention,austins confirmation,scrapping with friends,justins new band nalani and sarina,tylers bout with bells palsey,morgans plays, me two years cancer free,searching for the right college path for the twins,nook fun,scrapping adventures, the boys jobs, tyler at polo,guy at shoprite,austin at shell, morgan taking odd jobs,its wild and wacky. going to00 fast.

reflections

2010-06-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

call it middle age, or just the stresses of the news(oil spills,joblessness) or at home, with business a little too quiet, or friends getting ill,hurt. i lately find myself sad, wondering how i spent so much of my child hood not waiting till i was a grown up, and now at times i feel old and appalled that my life is (if god blesses me with a full life) half over.sometimes i long to be a child again listening more than i did to the wisdoms of my dad, or the young mother with my arm load of babies(so far the most fullfilling time in my life),just wondering when did looking forward turn into looking back. God help me to just look to now and what is. but sometimes life is just scary.

the fall to christmas review

2010-01-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

just a few tidbits in the fall i battled hin1 by vaccinting over 200 kids at my school. i went away with my hard core girls to sea isle and it was just the best. these estrogen infusion weekends i just live for. i went scrapping in amish country. went to see mama mia with my church and my theater buff morgan and friend went with me . guy got his lisense.i also have lots of girls at my house as the older 4 are dating. the current girls are lovely they all get along and it is so much fun having them around. they get excited about family things like tree decoarating. i can only hope and pray that this is a foreshadowing of good things to come.

the best stuff

2009-08-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

i am not even sure where to begin. we had the most amazing experience in May with the marriage of my neice megan to her new husband thomas. it was such a joyful day(i took 400 pictures!) but the family reunion was a reawakening of old relationships. we got to see cousins that i had not seen since i was a child and the connections were still there! we are planning a reunion in 2011. this whole thing just reaffirmed what i already know. i am sssoo blessed. i love my family. then in july we took our trip of a life time with the kids...our cruise. all went but justin who was touring with his band on warp tour. we swam with dolphins, saw Bermuda snorkeled, mopeded, jet skis, rock climbed, ice skated, ate VERY well. and guess what?..i still love my husband. it was like a honeymoon for us..after that camp hill scrapping with the ladies from the message board and one other sassy scrapper.I broke a personal record in pages done. apparently when you are not talking so much you get more done, but with less witnesses i shopped more. bad.now i am at warwick camp for i think my 8th year?now i miss my family. guy robert met a girl on the cruise and after a year of mourning his old girlfriend is finally happy and glowing again. Justin also ended things with jewlia and met another girl dulcie who just connected with all of us so he is glowing..tyler dates an awesome girl rachel who i love. It is so nice having girls around. on big guys birthday they all baked!!

i am one year out on my cancer surgery and coming on one year since radiation..

life is good.

next in the summer adventure...garage sale...

oh did i mention austin graduatedfrom east amwell and justin did warp tour with kelsey and the chaos...

2009-05-16T17:05:00.000-07:00

so a few things along the way...i discovered facebook which has made me be a bad blogger. not sure anyone reads this but if anything it helps me when i go back to scrapbooking or writng the annual christmas letter. so the pictures...the bear is from the charity crop i ran for pediatric cancer research, ride for erik a foundation my friend started,the picture of number 4 son austin rock climbing made it into nj monthly! i got a photo credit!(okay so i am totally best friends with the art editor but still)then there is the whole twins getting their pemits can i just say yikes. little guy driving, he says driving with dad and i together is pure hell. nice huh!then my little thespian morgan in annie finally i get to see a show instead of a soccer game not that i minded a soccer game but change is good.then my wonderful weekend away for estrogen infusion and scrapbooking with my sassy scrapper sb group.and last but not least..the twins turn 17! in other news my neice meg gets married in two weeks,justin is in indiana on tour with forever the sickest kids,and our cruise is coming yippee...now back to facebook...

oh yea justin is on tour all over

2009-02-02T18:27:00.001-08:00

2009-02-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

lots of random winter photos..justin on tour with his new girl jewelia..she likes taking pictures which really works for me!guy with his crazy warm hat,guy with is ex but our still much loved sammy p(long story)ice skating yes i said ice skating on a lake in nj, and 4 of my boys with gary gartling on new years. so far so good.

goodbye 2008, hello 2009

2008-12-28T20:29:00.000-08:00

so this year if God continues to bless me in this life,

i will travel somewhere new.

i will remain cancer free(God willing)

i will keep finding new ways to connect with my children

i will re do another room (and hopefully our deck)

i will live more in the moment

i will watch my neice get married

i will get more comfortable getting in and out of NYC

i will keep control of my irish temper, but i will not beg for forgivenenss more than once

i will try to be a better friend.

i will excercise regularily

maybe i will loose some weight.

I hope to see Justin find success

I hope to see Guy Roberts heart to heal

I hope tyler finds his passion

I hope austin stays true to his heart.

i hope Morgan always find joys in small treasures.

I pray to find my spiritual heart again and to not despair.

silliness

2008-12-10T16:48:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

2008-11-30T16:30:00.001-08:00

blast from the past

2008-10-20T13:42:00.000-07:00

so dug this up from the oldies but goodies. i was 13 cathy was 16 i thik, rob 18. this was on our closed in porch that i loved. i just remember being in the foulest mood that morning. the photpgrapher worked with my brother, gunner i think was his name. some of my favorite pictures of my sister were taken this day. and of course i love seeing my dad.

going nuclear

2008-10-17T10:32:00.000-07:00

so here is the scanner that checked for all that nasty cancer, not fun but i put my mind in my happy place and with only one panic attack i made it through. those paddles are really close to your face.

the canister holds one capsule that is radioactive. you take it than you are radioactive for several days. my kids are shipped out to keep them safe.crazy. but whatever it takes to kill the cancer and get back to my life.

just want to mention that my life is amazing. i have friends who continulally blow me away with their support. my kids are cared for, meals brought to me, ministers ministering my soul, my workplace sending cards. i am blessed

my favorite girls at my favorite place

2008-10-08T18:02:00.001-07:00

so here are my dear friends, my posse, the group that will say anything and accept any thing. i know they are here for me and me for them. this is us at the princeton grill in avalon. this is a pre radiation getaway. I would tell you about it but the rule of this group is what is said in the group stays in the group.

aren't the cute

2008-09-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

aren't they cute?? this is tyler and his girlfriend on their way to a sweet 16.my boys never the traditional suits but it was semi formal i guess...

2008-09-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

braces on

morgan got them on a day after austin ot them off.

we celebrated Big Guys birthday with some thing new, the girl friends. I t was funny to think about how big our family will be once the boys are married.For now i am enjoyin the estroen around the house. it evens the balance at our house.

braces offcute couple
Guy and sammy gussied up for a sweet sixteen. i had the pleasure of dress shopping for sammy with her mom.

still here

2008-08-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

well hey, yes I am here. and yes it has been a bit of a weird journey thus far. On July 6 i had my surgery,and i would say the anticipation before was ssoo much worse than the surgery itself. the care was awesome , i remember kissing Guy goodbye and then waking up in recovery. they removed the whole thyroid. now here is the weird part. i had a biopsy before surgery that called the tumor cancer,then after the operation the surgeon told Guy the frozen section was inconclusive,but it looked very suspicious. well 5 days later the final biopsy came back benign. most people would be thrilled, but we had never been told there was any hope. something did not ring right to me, so i requested a biopsy done at Fox Chase(HMC sent the slides) and guess what?It was cancer. All I can say that someone was looking out for me that i did not just passively accept that one biopsy. i needed the tie breaker.so now they are on the road of readying me for a body scan and then radioactive treatment,which should be an adventure since i have to be isolated for 7 days...aahh hellooo..5 kids three animals??trying to figure out if i can get insurance to pay for a private beach house with a cabana boys with a radioactive proof thong LOL

anyway other events ths summer because as they say,life goes on...Tyler had surgery which i am sure he would be thrilled that i am postig about, suffice it to say it was something that needed to be done to improve his quality of life and he is so happy now.

We lost a dear friend from a heart attack this summer. Howard Mastropiero the husband of a college friend of mine and Morgans God father. so in july a week and a half out of surgery, we traveled to NH for a very emotional reunion with Cindy. Howard was a fireman making the ceremony that much more emotional. he will be missed and my thoughts and prayers remain with Cindy and the girls.

Losing Howard and my cancer definately hit a chord with Guy who is the king of someday we will....finally after years of talking about a big family vacation, we finally booked a cruise for next summer. we are excited as anything.

meanwhile little Guy went to woodward camp for skateboarding and tyler went to warwick for high school week.

austin got braces off and morgan got them on!

once i figure out this new mac laptop i will post pics!

fighting cancer

2008-06-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

something i never thought i would be saying about myself,but as they say another turning point in the road. My routine physical found a lump on my thyroid that was biopsied and is positive for cancer. so my summer off is now a fight for my life if you will. odds are good according to the docs so i just ask for prayers. .my friends and family are my strength. i love the women in my life who believe with all their hearts i will be okay but still are brave enough to say out loud what i am thinking which if the worst happens we will be there for your family.surgery is next week followed by radiation treatment. i get to go nuclear. that will be interesting.

some new adventures

2008-06-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

so a new friend invited me along on a new adventure of visiting Nj winerys and eventually working into other states and maybe before the adventure ends we can go to europe and try their wines! okay well lets see if we make it through NJ first.This was our first stop, and it was not intimidating at all. 5 dollars got 5 tastes and and a etched wine glass. For the girl who is all about the goodie bag, this worked for me. actually found i really like the white wines in particular one called reisling.I liked our first time and hoping for more.

the picture below is from my work buddy angela's retirement party. one of the first welcomes i got at chapin and who quickly became a fello scrap buddy and big sister- advisor is retiring. I will miss her terribly tho the silver lining is i still get to see her at scrap events but i will miss my daily debriefing and sharing of new scrap adventures we have had

Next, same new friend from the winery,took her daughter ,who happens to be my sons girlfriend, on a shopping trip to philly to urban outfitters. very fun to have my girl senses(think spidey senses for shopping) tingling again. the boys found some rad?? stuff to buy, and the girls well they gots skills for shopping.we stopped here for of course philly cheesestakes.

so what have i been doing?

2008-05-25T07:45:00.001-07:00

well first I had thisday, national scrapbook day at my house. this was before everyone got there in my scraproom. we had a great day but hosting does not make for much scrapping. but we laughed alot.

and then this little Guy came home....yup him name is elvis and we are instant in love, but I forgot how having a new puppy is like having a new baby. early mornings, trying to get stuff done while the "baby" sleeps. I am exhausted.

and I am trying wrap up school so i can get some time to enjoy this

our new fur baby

2008-05-07T20:09:00.001-07:00

we must be nuts, but look who is ours next week.....

i mean could you eat him up. still working on a name but some of us like noodles jr or petey.

he is a mix of a fox terrier,chiwawa(sp), and pug.

yea we are nuts...

confirmation and bamboozled

2008-05-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

so, today my twins were confirmed. And my heart was full. in all the craziness of preparing for this day, i had not anticipated being overcome with emotion. when they both stood in front of the church and Rev Cherry, my memory suddenly remembered(yes think sunrise sunset from fiddler on the roof here) of how when I was hospitalized with complications carrying these twins, this little church prayed for me and them, my minister counceled me when i needed it most, and the church shared in my joy of their survival and homecoming.This minister babtized them and now confirmed them. Of course my tears gave good ammunition to my husband and boys to tease me, but who cares. My heart is full today.

of course, today was a polar opposite of yesterday which was spent at bamboozle. for you old folks that do not know what bamboozle is..it is giants stadium filled with a million bands and their fans...think giant stadium mash pit/rock band. The twins wanted to go for their birthday and so Guy and I drove them and stayed. OMG wild and crazy for sure. my ears are ringing. we were the oldest people there(funny they did not question us for the parents tents ) but we did see paramor(yea ask you kids who they are) and jimmy eat world(again ask your kids), so we can sound cool when we tell people 20 and under we go up

a notch as not so old old people...

wicked BABY

2008-04-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG OMG OMG got to see this as a chaperone for a trip out of my school and i was blown away...loved the story the music everything. i am so getting tickets for my family. i am going to bite the bullet and do this. none of them have seen a broadway show...i just want them to experience it once..can anyone say rebate check:)

to quote my son 13

2008-04-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

"And to let you people know u cant love a person for a day theres no point of loving someone for a day "
this was on his my space and I think it is my new motto...

last days

2008-04-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

well the goverment finally emminent domained our business property. apparently the highway bridge needs our business property more than we do, more than we needed to make a living, more than we needed to have a place for our employees, more than we needed the memories of a businees we have had for 23 years createdwith my father in law who is gone from us now,more than we needed to sell it for retirement. Get out they said, no money yet and what will come will barely cover somewhere new to go. At 50 with kids going to college,we will be starting over.

We hadto move in 4 days. leave a memory behind. Frankly no matter what language you put it in. It sucks.I love this country but ths is F-upped...

another thing

2008-04-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

and this..the magazine Justin is in. sold at a borders near you:)

spring

2008-04-06T16:19:00.000-07:00

first signs i hope. I need the sun to shine in my soul as well as my enviroment. ready to let the sunshine in. think beatles song. Tyler took this picture with is point and shoot. He will be taking photography next year and I hope he loves it. I think he has some skills.

soccer man

2008-03-31T16:47:00.000-07:00

spring soccer begins. soccer will consume our saturdays and sundays. Austin is the lone survior, the other kids have moved to other interests but austin still remains our soccer man. he is so fast playing with older kids. he has gained some height ths year so we will see...these are the new uniforms. austin was really stoked about the yellow away shirt too!1

mystery man

2008-03-22T17:33:00.001-07:00

okay so it is my tyler, no mystery there. But he is my quiet one, the tall dark and silent one.while the rest of us stablers suffer from mouth babble and will tell you our lives the first minute, tyler keeps thing tucked in, at least amongst his family. This I know..he is creative and funny when he lets you in. while each of my children take turns making me worry, right now, at this moment, my thoughts are on Tyler. I still see the softness of his toddler hood in those eyes, and I know deep down he loves his mama, even if he does not say it much now. I think i can wait till the teenage junk is over. i think...

2008-03-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

my justin is in nj monthly "best of "april issue for best up and coming guitar player. This was one of the photos taken by the very famous chris crimson. This is not the photo used, but one of my favs because besides being my cute son, he is on a train which holds a special memory of my dad who passed away 11 years ago ths month. He would have been so proud of his first grandson.

2008-03-12T17:58:00.000-07:00

remember young love?This my son guy and his girlfriend of three months. they are incredibly sweet together, and while it brings with it a whole set of worries for us parents, it is sweet to watch the tenderness with how they care for eachother. we love her and her family.while odds are not in their favor i would not mind if this one lasted a long time.

it was fabulous

2008-02-28T11:42:00.000-08:00

so Had a great time at the scrappers dream vacation in absecon. we were only a group of 7 this time, but i got to sit next to my original scrap buddy elizabeth who can make me laugh with her unique life observations. just loved my two classes and loved watching all the fellow scrap fanatics set up there spaces, and all the new gadgets. I am in love with glimmer sprays, and thickers. got nine two page layouts done plus my buddy pages and two class projects.
before the SDV i got to see my high school buddies who i have not seen in a few years. they still make me laugh like they did in high school. I have been so blessed in my life with warm, funny women.we went to wendy's sisters bed and breakfast .who who would have thought plainfield NJ. it was awesome especailly the delicious food nancys husband made for us. She is thinking of starting some bed and breakfast crops and i told her i would happily get a "test " group for her. so we shall see...

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-02-24T19:07:00.001-08:00

I am off with a but....

2008-02-20T20:46:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to leave for my very favorite scrappin getaway for my 6th year in absecon, the bestist sdv thurday at 3pm,but there is a small fly in the ointment. I am fighting a horrendous head cold right now and had to call in sick so i could go to the doctor. i am so afraid this will get worse while i am away..hoping the doctor can give me some good stuff to fight it but alas, i think it is viral. the good news is after the doctor i can get a little earlier jump on my ride out of town instead of leaving and driving in the dark alone, i can leave a little earlier and noel will be with me, then i can get to the hotel and rest before the festivites on friday.say a prayer that this gets no worse and please God no flu...

I also had a wonderful reunion with my high school friends..more on that when i get back. got pictures too and yes i am the fattest one. but i think i am learning to accept that..sortof...

recent layout

2008-02-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

i did this layout with some papers i got in a scrappy giraffe kit. just love these colors, the rub ons, and the fold out pages.I even cut the protector right! Today i spent running kids all over the place. we are all off from school. yay! and I am trying to be extra supportive of their social lives as I am grabbing my getaway next weekend. Dad is not so into the running, so they will rely on the mercy of friends when i am away next weekend, so i am the road warrior this weekend.I do get one interesting break tommorow. seeing my high school buddies. three of my dearest friends from the high school days. I do tend to put of these reunions since i am self conscious of my weight, but I am trying to get healthy and not put off friends for such a vain reason. I am actually looking forward to it...

braces braces and more braces...aaarrgggg

2008-01-28T14:43:00.001-08:00

so right now I have three of my five boys in treatment and one finished. I had one that did not need them. notice i use the word HAD..the orthdontist has been watching him and is seeing alot of wearing on his teeth. so it looks like at least partial treatment. do not ask me where i am going to get the money ,but somehow we always do..between these and glasses(two kids have and son number 5 lost his!)Good Lord help me. That is Dr Loew and austin(son number 4), I see him more than my husband!! and that is NOT a good thing.

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-01-20T11:19:00.001-08:00

2008-01-10T20:04:00.000-08:00

this greeted me yesterday morning. this is at the end of my driveway taken with my camera phone....I am so lucky to live in this part of new jersey..

so right now it is late and i am tired. working all day and coming home to put the final touches on a charity crop for pediatric cancer research right now. i am excited and nervous. i want it to be a great scrappy day for everyone...wish i could just scrap but alas i will be working it...the upside...i can still shop i am sure! and who can be sad when you are around scrappy stuff...

few more pics from the top ten day

2008-01-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

morgan not so happily helping put grocieries away...and the book bootie...now for a snow day:)

on the top ten of my favorite kinds of day

2008-01-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

okay my most favorite days involve family time when we are together and really connecting,laughing etc. my second favorite day would involve a beach sand in the toes, but today was in the top ten. off from work (till monday) and with a few fellow scrappers took a road trip to scrappers cove a great store, and bought some scrapbook bootie...

hambly overlays, heidi swapp, bling, daubers, tim hotlz chipboard, inks..fun fun fun..and tommorow a scrap day in the plans:) it has been since october since i scrapped for myself...i am suffering from withdrawel...then i went to lunch using a gift certificate from a generous parent of one of my students in princeton...even getting parking right in front of the restaurant! The Parking Gods were smiling!

Then I got to go to Barnes and noble and spent my 125 dolllors in gift certificates that were christmas gifts...talk about heaven.

the day ended with counting my blessings..groceries(ordered over the internet) and healthy boys helping me put them away...warm home on this cold night and a loving famiy . I thnk God for all these.

resolute

2008-01-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

so it is a new year..with the same resolution..to loose the weight that makes me so unhappy with myself. each year I seem to go heavier into the new year uugg. so...i resove to go to the gym, to start jenny craig, and to stp wimping out with every emotional hard day!! okay so i said it here!!

me

2007-12-31T12:04:00.001-08:00

a blank page

2007-12-30T19:48:00.000-08:00

okay i have been facinated with the idea of a blog space...now ask me why? my journal sits by my bed with twice a year entries..my blog on my space has not been updated since the summer. yet here I sit wanting a blog spot..okay it is a new year. a new resolution..to get better at journaling, so here we go...I call my spot momma bears place. momma bear is what my almost 20 year calls me. i love the relationship we have. my mom and i struggled in my teen years so i love that he loves me despite my imperfections..and it is my place and i am a momma bear. 5 boys...i need my own spot! I love my boys tho I am amazed by them and they are my heroes..i worry constantly tho..am I doing a good job, will they succeed in life. My hubby and I are low pressure parents I think. I do not want them to win the nobel but I do want them to be good people, stay away from addictions that run in my family. I want them to be happy. so far so good.